The Evolution of life, the future, Listening and well.. Just thoughts..

It's interesting how in life as you grow older things not only seem to change but people as well. You go about your life sometimes almost even Idolizing  people. Thinking they are the rock and solid foundation in your life, when in fact YOU are THEIR ROCK and solid foundation. 
    A lot of the time we don't realize this " Reversal" of positions but it DOES HAPPEN. When it does a lot of the time people will have a fall out of sorts. Why do you ask? Because some people can't handle the reversal of roles others can't. 
   It is only as of recent I can sit here and say this has occurred to me in my life. Materialistic things are worthless to me when it comes to true emotions. ANYONE that TRUELY knows me, knows this for they see how I am giving and just when needed as well as when I am able to do it. 
  I have grown and incredible bond with many people through out my life, but there's always been on that stood out like a sore Thumb. This one relationship has been the topic of discussion among my other peers for quite sometime now (over a decade). The response I have always received from all my peers is " You are nuts, why deal with it? why bother, etc, etc etc,...". Here is why:


Because unlike anyone I have ever met this person, makes me want to shine the brightest I can. This person brings out something in me, or should I say brought out something in me that I never before expected, or perceived to be remotely possible. This person has held my hand and given me their shoulder to cry on, laugh on, spit on, chew on, ride on just about anything I could do with a shoulder lol. 
  There were times in my life where I seriously thought, I would not be able to make it through this without this person at least in my thoughts. I can sit here also and name the countless ways this person has been there for me on an everyday basis.


I can do this because I am aware of what someone does for me. Now how sad is it when the tables turn and that person is so blind sided by the fear, anxiety, problems, low self-esteem, and other contributing factors of their life. Blinded to a point where they can only see what they do, and it's them , them, them yet they are just as blind as a HORSE to the reality of just how much you may truely do and sacrifice for them. 


Some people are just more narrow minded then others and only view things in a materialistic sense. I personally was brought up COMPLETELY different. Materialistic things come and go. It is sad to base how much a person loves you or cares for you on the " What can they get me, or what will they do for me" mind frame. It's actually rather disgusting to me to be quite frank. 




To sum this up. I am a person that I love. I love a lot, and I love too much! I am sweetheart as many put it and people tend to take it for granted. They think, I have some malicious intent in my actions.. 


When you come from where I do.. You are taught to do things out of the kindness of your heart. You are taught the value of life and friendship. You are taught respect. You are taught to listen to others when they speak to you. You are taught not to pass judgement when you don't know the full story.


You are taught that to every Ying there's a Yang.


I, in my heart believe that I found the Ying to my Yang. A person so similar to me, so understanding, so intuitive, inspiring, hard working, dedicated, and incredibly beautiful person inside and out. Yet as time progresses I ask myself.. What do I really want out of a friendship.. Someone identical to me or someone I can grow with and evolve with...




What do you think my response is to that? What is yours? Interesting uh?


Well if your curious to my response.. The answer is.. I want someone who is JUST LIKE ME and is GROWING in their life and EVOLVING right ALONG with me. 


Now what if your friend is perhaps taking a longer route... What are you to do? Cut your loses and continue? Show them the wrong in their way and try to guide them  towards a brighter path.. What if worse..  They just clearly did not see the fault in their being? 


NOBODY is perfect, SPECIALLY not me! haha But we are all put in this world to Live, to learn  to experience, and grow from our actions knowledge etcc... If we block out  one of the most important mediums we have for this which is : LISTENING not Pseudo-listening which you can look up. but REALLY listening, how are you suppose to grow and better yet, how are you to stay on the same page with someone dear to you if they aren't willing to offer you the one luxury we DENY each other all the time, which is an honest Listening ear...




I promise if people listened more, there would be a lot less problems! & trust me I'm no  listening Guru, but this information i learned recent and it's really changed my life and way of viewing things, among other things.




I love my friends, I love my family and everyone in it but I will not SIT here with my arms crossed and let someone miss-treat me or, tell me untruths about myself.. cause unlike many in this world I can stand outside of the box, look at myself and re-adjust and better myself as well as my not so good tendencies. It's something we are all gifted with and that is  freeWILL and I have the will do change and better myself.. do you? 


This is something I highly suggest ALL OF YOU TO DO. Listen, Love and do it with the actual intent to listen.. Grow evolve in your life and move on onward!




Now to really sum things up, things in life are pointing me one way and I have had some troubles letting go of the past, but I will reach my destination.


I am not willing to compromise, or change anything when it comes to my future and where I plan to go unless it's for the better. This includes my finances.


MUSIC will always be first  and be in my heart, before : Fame, love,friends and money just about anything but my family and in family I mean my mother & father.


So unless your my mum or dad, you better get it straight. Music will always be first.






" A friend that can't realize your dreams and aspirations and what you have to sacrifice to get there  and understand that is truely not a friend"











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